Tinder can feel overwhelming — what photos to choose, what to write, what to say first. To make things easier, here are nine unwritten rules that help you get better matches and keep the conversation flowing while staying respectful and true to yourself.
TL;DR
- Use more than one clear photo (include at least one full-body) and avoid only group pics
- Verify your profile (Photo + ID) to build trust and filter who can message you
- Ditch “hey” — send a short, personal opener tied to their profile
- Don’t keep resetting your account; improve your profile instead
- Be honest, friendly, and upfront about your intentions (use Relationship Goals)
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The 9 Unwritten Rules of Tinder
Everyone has their own methods of trying to find a partner on Tinder — some more successful than others — but these nine rules give you the best chance of getting matches and keeping up a conversation once the mutual attraction is established. Without further ado, here are the top nine rules to ensure the best experience on the app for both you and other users.
1. Do Not Have Only One Photo On Your Profile
Maybe we don’t all have hundreds of recent pictures to pick from. Sure, it’s tempting to lean on that one shot where you think you look your absolute best. But your matches want to see more than a single photo — ideally a mix that shows your personality. Include at least one clear full-body shot and a couple of everyday moments doing things you enjoy. Tinder’s Photo Verification now uses a short video selfie, and verified members can choose to only receive messages from other verified members. That extra blue check builds trust and can improve your response rate.
2. Do Not Solely Use Group Photos
People swipe fast. If it’s hard to tell who you are in the first two photos, many will swipe left. Group shots are fine later in your carousel, but prioritize clear solo photos up front so it’s obvious who your potential match is.
3. Be Honest About Your Age
Lying about your age is a big deal. Tinder offers Age/ID Verification in many regions where you submit a government ID and short selfie video. That protects everyone and confirms your age before you message. Be upfront about the rest too — height, lifestyle, whatever matters. Honesty saves everyone time.
4. Try To Start Conversations With Something Other Than “Hey”
There’s nothing inherently wrong with “hey.” It’s just easy to ignore. Make your opener personal: call out a hobby, a place in their photos, or a shared interest. Also, keep it respectful — Tinder now nudges users if a message may cross the line. You’ll stand out more with a thoughtful first line than a generic greeting.
5. Do Not Repeatedly Delete Tinder And Re-register
We’ve all seen the same face reappear after a week. Constantly deleting and remaking your profile confuses people and rarely helps. Instead of “resetting,” update your photos, rewrite your bio, verify your profile, and use features like Matchmaker (friends can suggest profiles for you) to get better recommendations. Tinder no longer uses the old Elo score system; matches now depend on real engagement and recency.
6. Try Not To Ghost Any Of Your Matches
Some folks are just browsing; that’s fine. But there’s a person behind every profile. If it’s not a fit, say so kindly instead of disappearing. It also helps to set expectations on your profile using Relationship Goals (e.g., “long-term,” “short-term fun,” “new friends,” “still figuring it out”). Clarity reduces mismatches — and ghosting.
7. Do Not List All Of Your “Requirements” In Your Bio
Knowing what you like is great; posting a shopping list of must-haves is not. Bios overloaded with requirements (height, job, body type) can feel unwelcoming and narrow. Keep an open mind — if someone doesn’t fit, you can simply swipe left without broadcasting a set of rules.
8. Do Not Have An Empty Bio
No one wants to read a novel, but a blank bio makes conversation harder (and can feel a bit catfish-y). A few lines about your interests, perfect date ideas, or how you spend weekends gives people an easy way in. Profiles with bios and clear photos consistently increase match likelihood — so give people something to respond to.
9. Be Friendly And Open-minded
These days, there’s something for everyone on Tinder. Be honest about what you’re looking for, make good conversation, and if it’s not working out, say so and move on. Frankness is respected — and frees both of you to find a better match.
If you’re unsure whether Tinder is right for you, take our quiz to see which dating app suits you best. Concealing your age, using one blurry photo, and leaving your bio empty won’t get you far; your honest self (quirks included) will.
2025 Extras You Can Try
- Verify, then filter: Turn on Photo-Verified-only messages in settings if you want to chat exclusively with verified members
- Ask friends for help: Use Tinder Matchmaker to let friends or family recommend profiles without creating an account
Double up for low-pressure vibes: In some markets, Tinder is testing Double Date so you and a friend can match with another pair
FAQ
Does Tinder still use an Elo score?
No. Tinder’s matching now depends on activity and engagement, not a hidden desirability score.
Is verification worth it?
Yes. Verified profiles are more trusted and tend to get better matches. It’s quick, safe, and filters your potential chats.
How many photos should I use?
At least three — include one clear face photo, one full-body, and one showing your lifestyle or interests.
What should I send instead of “hey”?
Reference something specific in their profile — a place, hobby, or photo. A personalized message always gets more replies.
How do I show what I’m looking for?
Use Relationship Goals and Relationship Types to indicate whether you want a long-term connection, short-term fun, or new friends.
Should I keep remaking my account to “reset” things?
No. Just update your photos, bio, and verification. The algorithm rewards genuine activity, not resets.
