Dating can be tough when you’re shy. It can also be tough when you find too much time with people, especially strangers, exhausting. As an introvert, you probably deal with both of these issues.
And even if you’re somewhere between introvert and extrovert you’re likely to run into problems motivating yourself to get out there and date or mixing and mingling with potential partners when you’re not on top form, or the weather’s bad, or you had a hard day at work…
So what’s the solution? How can introverts enjoy dating? I was going to suggest putting them all in a big room with booze and snacks, but then I realized that’s what serious introverts would consider hell. Aka, a big party full of strangers!
So, plan B, I have collated an excellent list of the best dating sites for introverts. These sites don’t focus on a specific kind of dating – being introverted doesn’t mean you only want serious relationships, nor does it mean you’re looking for nothing but quick hookups with minimum eye contact – so there should be something on my list for everyone.
I have focused on sites that put a premium on getting to know one another and/or provide a lot of online content, prompts to help the conversation flow and nods to keeping everyone’s mental health in good form while online dating.
There are also other sites at a variety of price points, including some that you can use without committing to a paid membership because times are tough and not everyone can afford to pay for their online dating experience.
Without further ado, the best dating apps for introverts…
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Eharmony
Click here to try eharmony for free
Best For finding the one.
Not For looking for something super casual.
The Lowdown
Eharmony is a serious dating site with an amazing success rate, and almost every eharmony user is looking for love.
Okay, that was a bit intense as openings go, but for introverts, it’s quite comforting to know that everyone on the site is looking for the same thing and that people are unlikely to come at you with any surprising social interactions!
With a basis in psychology that can’t be rivaled by many dating sites, you can trust eharmony to take a lot of the legwork out of finding a partner.
Of course, you do still need to charm them once you’ve matched, but there’s no way to avoid that necessity! Anyway, you’re psychologically compatible, you’re bound to get on.
Eharmony has regularly been voted the most trustworthy dating site in the US and Canada, and its dating pool has also been voted the highest quality dating pool in North America.
If you’re nervous about online dating, or about dating in general, and you’re looking for something serious, then I advise you to put your trust in eharmony (and in psychology!) to find you a wonderful match.
To learn more about eharmony, check out my full piece on the site. And to try it for yourself, follow this link.
Pricing
| Pricing | Total Cost | Monthly Cost |
|---|---|---|
| Free | ||
| 6 Months | $395.40 | $65.90 |
| 12 Months | $550.80 | $45.90 |
| 24 Months | $861.60 | $35.90 |
What you get for your cash
If you try and use eharmony without paying for a membership, you are essentially embarking on a taster session. You can’t make any contact with your matches on eharmony without coughing up for full membership, and I know that membership looks pretty steep at first glance.
With a site like eharmony, though, which is all about making real connections based on psychological matching, you have to see paying for membership as an investment. You’re investing in your future relationship, basically!
Of course, if you can’t afford to do that, there are plenty of other dating sites available that are cheaper or even free to use. Never go without dinner or into debt over a dating site!
But if you can afford eharmony, you might avoid an awful lot of awkward first dates that don’t go anywhere.
Busy? Here are The Key Points
- Eharmony is an old staple on the dating scene, and its commitment to matchmaking and facilitating serious relationships has a hint of old-fashioned morals to it, but it’s anything but outdated! The site is fresh, usable and modern, and eharmony regularly tops polls for being the most trusted dating site out there.
- You do have to pay to get anything out of eharmony, but that also means you know everyone you are talking to is serious about making a connection.
- Eharmony’s matching is based on psychology, and a couple meets on the site every 14 minutes!
Adult Friend Finder
Click here to try AdultFriendFinder for free
Best For no-strings fun, which can all be online if you don’t want to leave the house!
Not For finding a wife, though stranger things have certainly happened.
The Lowdown
If you spend a lot of time online, and you aren’t sure whether or not you want to take your dating game IRL yet, you should dip your toe in the water with AdultFriendFinder. This is a site for fun and hookups, and it has been delivering on its promises of a good time for an amazing 26 years.
As it’s such a sex-positive, open environment you can ask for what you actually want on AdultFriendFinder, confident in the knowledge that you’re not going to be thought of as strange! I mean, the worst someone can say is no, right?
And if you aren’t quite ready to go on dates or even meet up for a casual hookup, you can interact in a whole bunch of other ways on the site.
Whether you just want to browse the huge amount of user-generated content, from videos to forums to erotic stories, or to chat on AdultFriendFinder’s messaging service or video service, there’s no doubt that you’ll find a level of involvement you’re comfortable with on the site.
And over time, who knows how confident you’ll get? There are plenty of opportunities to practice being assertive after all! Sign up for AdultFriendFinder here.
Pricing
| Pricing | Total Cost | Monthly Cost |
|---|---|---|
| Free | ||
| 1 Month | $39.95 | $39.95 |
| 3 Months | $80.85 | $26.95 |
| 12 Months | $239.40 | $19.95 |
What you get for your cash
You can use a lot of AdultFriendFinder’s features without paying. If you’re using the site for the first time and trying to work out whether or not it’s for you, don’t feel pressured to pull the trigger and pay for the premium.
Before you do that you can explore your matches, even like profiles for later, and peruse loads of the user-generated content that AdultFriendFinder is so great for.
Whether you’re browsing the forums or reading amateur erotica, there’s an awful lot that can be gained from this online library of smut without full membership.
Crucially, though, you do need to be a full member to chat with other users. So if you want to go on dates – virtual or IRL – you will eventually have to pay for a premium membership.
Busy? Here are The Key Points
- AdultFriendFinder is a hookup site with a long history. Launched in 1996, the site has helped generations of online daters get their rocks off from the comfort of their own homes and out on dates.
- Longer premium subscriptions are reasonably priced, but there’s plenty you can do with a basic membership. Unfortunately, that doesn’t include chatting with other users, so most people eventually upgrade.
- There’s a plethora of user-generated material available through AdultFriendFinder, including erotica, videos, and even old-style messageboards. Most of this can be viewed by basic members.
Flingster
Click here to try Flingster for free
Best For: staying inside but still having plenty of naughty fun.
Not For anyone who is looking for IRL dating.
The Lowdown
If you like the sound of AdultFriendFinder… except for the part about potentially going on dates, then you might love Flingster! If you’ve been an introvert since the noughties you’ll remember Omegle and ChatRoulette.
These were both services that paired you with another random user anywhere in the world, allowing you to shoot the shit and, in ChatRoulette’s case, gawk at one another on video. Okay, so imagine that but sexy!
Yeah, I know there were sometimes some shenanigans on ChatRoulette, but sexy it was not. Flingster, on the other hand, is designed for romantic (well, at least raunchy) rendezvous across continents.
There are Flingster users all over the world, and the app even has a decent translation option for typed conversation. Getting hot and heavy isn’t a given, and some users just want to chat, but you’ll also find a lot of couples and individual users looking for something more.
With an average of 15,000 users online at any given time, you can move on to someone new at any point, waiting until someone you like the look of pops up and/or running from any potential embarrassment!
Pricing
| Pricing | Upfront Cost | Monthly Cost |
|---|---|---|
| Free | ||
| 1 Week | $6.99 | $27.96 |
| 1 Month | $19.99 | $19.99 |
| 6 Months | $89.94 | $14.99 |
What you get for your cash
Flingster is absolutely usable without paying, and I would advise sticking to a free account if you’re only logging on very occasionally for a bit of adventure.
Premium members do get a range of benefits that feel appropriate for $20 a month, though, so if you’re using the site regularly then the premium is something to consider.
The most important feature available for Premium Members is verification. Verified users are given a badge on their profile that’s visible in chats and videos and lets other Flingster users know that they’re talking to someone legit even if you’re using a digital mask.
You also get a back button as a premium member in case you get knocked off a chat by a bad connection or scroll through users too quickly for your own good. Finally, Premium Members can enjoy Flingster ad-free, which is always something that improves an online experience.
Busy? Here are The Key Points
- Flingster connects sex-positive people worldwide over video chat. When you use Flingster, you will be connected with another user at random, from a pool of around 15,000 online at any given time.
- This is a site that’s popular with both singles and couples.
- There’s a decent translation add-on available for text chat.
- All features except verification and an ad-free experience are available for basic Flingster users.
Bumble
Best For: enjoying a swiping app while preserving your mental health.
Not For anyone stressed out by the whole swiping thing.
The Lowdown
Bumble is a Tinder-esque app that was designed to put women in the dating driving seat. On this app, women have to make the first move (in male/female matches) by sending the initial message after a match occurs.
But as well as making online dating easier and safer for women, Bumble’s additional features make online dating a fair amount more introvert-friendly!
For example, Bumble has a Snooze option available to everyone. Toggling it on will hide your account from swipers, maintaining only existing connections until you toggle Snooze off.
That means you can have a little breathing space when things get too much without having to delete or pause your account or lose connections that are promising.
Bumble also has on-the-spot photo verification, which you can request from your connections at any point, so if you’re anxious about things like catfishing you can instantly put your mind at ease!
If you shell out for Bumble Boost or Premium there are a few more useful features, such as Beeline, which shows you only users who already liked your profile and takes the nerve-wracking drama out of swiping, but Bumble is also one of the most accessible dating apps as a free user.
You don’t have to make a financial commitment to make connections on Bumble.
Pricing
| Pricing | Upfront Cost | Monthly Cost |
|---|---|---|
| Free | ||
| 1 Week | $10.99 | $47.62 |
| 1 Month | $24.99 | $24.99 |
| 3 Months | $54.99 | $18.33 |
| Lifetime | $149.99 |
What you get for your cash
To my mind, Bumble is by far the swiping app that’s easiest to use for free. With 25 likes per day for all free users and unlimited free messaging you’re unlikely to run out.
If you want to step things up, though, you have two paid membership options with Bumble.
Bumble Boost gets you unlimited likes plus a backtrack button and a few ‘super swipes’ – think Tinder’s Super Like. Premium, the more expensive paid membership option on the app, will open up all that plus Beeline, a feed that shows you only users who have already liked you, and Travel Mode, which allows you to swipe in areas you’re visiting before you get there.
Or, indeed, plan holidays based on where all the hottest Bumble users are. None of the three options are balance-draining expensive, but Premium does seem steep for a location-based app.
I assume that people often bump their accounts up to Premium for a week or a month before they go on a trip to make use of Bumble Travel, but apart from that, I would advise most users to stick with Boost if they want to improve their Bumble experience by stepping up from basic membership.
Busy? Here are The Key Points
- Tinder’s woke cousin, built by a disgruntled ex-Tinder employee on a feminist mission!
- Bumble is designed with safety and comfort in mind and all the features that are supposed to make women feel looked after actually work for everyone!
- With 25 free right swipes a day, Bumble is one of the only dating apps on this list, and certainly the only one built for finding serious partners, that you can get a full experience of without paying.
Hinge
Best For serious relationships if you’re young and broke!
Not For people who want to find the one quickly and easily.
The Lowdown
Hinge is great, comparatively. And by that I mean it is probably the best swiping app for finding a long-term partner and exploring your nearby serious relationship options. But there is a level of compromise to using Hinge to search for someone you will want to be with for a long time (though a recent redesign is trying to change that).
Basically, Hinge is a more in-depth Tinder. Every user has to upload six pictures, and they all have full profiles complete with ‘Prompts’ they have answered.
That’s a big step up from Tinder’s teeny tiny, throwaway bios but there is still an art to working out who’s actually looking for love on Hinge.
It’s perfectly possible to populate your profile with 100% joke answers and one-liners, which gives out real ‘up for a fun time, not for a long time’ vibes. Of course, that’s fine, and you can respond to any of the user’s prompt answers or pics with your own jokes or flirtation!
If you’re looking for a bit more, that is also available on Hinge. I mean, anyone who has taken the time to write out miniature essays about their best shower thoughts or their worst-ever date is obviously pretty invested in at least giving the dating thing a real go! Either way, though,
Hinge’s prompts give you a springboard into the conversation so that even introverts can quickly get sparks flying. Plus, Hinge’s ‘your turn’ feature means the flow of conversation can be controlled.
You can tell your match if you need a little bit of help keeping things going, and they can give you a nudge when you’ve been quiet for too long! If only that were possible in real life. I mean, I guess I could get some cards made up?
Pricing
| Pricing | Upfront Cost | Monthly Cost |
|---|---|---|
| Free | ||
| 1 Month | $19.99 | $19.99 |
| 3 Months | $39.99 | $13.33 |
| 6 Months | $59.99 | $9.99 |
What you get for your cash
Hinge works fine for free. The only real issue is that with a basic Hinge account, you only get eight right swipes per day, which means there’s often a slow start to having fun and making connections on the app.
On the flip side, Hinge Preferred members (I know, swanky, that’s what Hinge calls premium members) get unlimited right swipes. In my opinion, this is the best feature of upgrading your account, and at as low as ten bucks a month you may well find Hinge Preferred a reasonable purchase.
As well as unlimited right swipes you get access to a feed showing every user who has liked you, without having to swipe right on them to work it out.
That’s fine as a time saver, and I can see it working well for introverts as it takes the anxiety out of swiping right.
Hinge Preferred users also get to set additional preferences, so you can narrow down your search, making sure you only have to put emotional energy into people who you’re likely to gel with!
Busy? Here are The Key Points
- Hinge is a swiping app in the style of Tinder but built to encourage deeper connection.
- Every Hinge user must upload at least 6 photos, as well as answering ‘prompts’ on their profile.
- Not everyone on Hinge is there for serious dating, but the platform does encourage a decent amount of discussion so you should be able to work out what people are looking for with some good old-fashioned digital conversation!
- Prompts are great for getting a good chat started, and can be introduced to a chat at any time.
- Hinge’s free accounts work fine, though you only get eight right swipes a day making things a little slow at first.
