Dude, I get it, rejection on Tinder sucks…
But would you agree that rejection is something that pretty much every person in the world will face at some point? Of course! Even the best looking, richest, most powerful people in the world WILL be rejected one day in one way or another.
So how the hell do we avoid rejection on Tinder all together?
I mean we all hate rejection, so we want to do everything humanly possible to make sure it never affects us again, right?
You can do this, but living a life where you are constantly avoiding rejection, being hurt or facing fear, isn’t much of a life.
Learning to cooperate
I’m sorry if this isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but you WILL face more rejection on Tinder, and in other situations in your life. Everyone will. Even the crazy cat lady who hasn’t left her house in years probably has a cat ignore her every now and again. SO what I am getting at – it will always be there.
If it is always there, learning to live with it early, makes life a lot easier.
It’s like if you had an annoying roommate that you knew you were going to live with FOREVER… Sounds like hell, but unfortunately this is the reality we all face, and that roommate, is rejection.
Now imagine with that roommate you have two options. 1. You live idly with them, deal with their annoying quirks every now and then, but nothing too dramatic. Or 2. You and the roommate mostly ignore each other, but then once a week, you have a HUGE fight.
The latter is how most people deal with rejection. They want to ignore it, or avoid it SO much, and when they do inevitably face that rejection, their world comes crumbling down.
Reframe your thinking
What does rejection on Tinder mean? What the hell is rejection? Why do we feel bad after being rejected? Let’s think back to human beings in our most primitive state.
Believe it or not, ‘stress’ has helped us become the superior species that we are today. Many many years ago things were a tad bit different. Your biggest problem wasn’t the massive issue of getting rejected on Tinder, it was getting eaten while you sleep…
Anytime something bad happened to a human, or their foe, they would instinctively learn to avoid whatever triggered that negative event. For example, if jumping into THAT lake, got Joe eaten by a crocodile, then every time John walks up to that lake, he will feel a negative sensation, telling him to stay away from it.
Your brain recognizes that in the past, this action resulted in something bad, so it sends stress hormones to advise us against making that same bad mistake.
This is why we feel bad about rejection on Tinder. Our brains are trying to protect us. There has been a time in your life where you have felt some sort of rejection, and it feels shitty.
Your body is conditioned to remember every action that makes it feel crap, to prevent you from doing it in the future. So in a nutshell, being anxious or afraid of rejection, is seriously just all in your head.
So next time you are stressing out, remember that feeling is literally there to stop you from making potentially life-threatening decisions.
Why not go for it?
Imagine this: you walk into a basketball court and Michael Jordan is standing at the free throw line with hundreds of basketballs ready. You walk up, he hands you a ball, you say “wow, Michael Jordan, what are you doing here?”, he ignores you, and then tells you if you land ONE of the many free throws, he will give you $10,000.
What’s the catch? You look around at the court, and there are literally HUNDREDS of balls. You look up at Mr. Jordan and ask, “what if I miss?” and he says “nothing, just try again.”
What would you do?
I would say nearly all of you reading this WOULD take the shots. I mean, would anyone out there really not want to shoot one basketball in the fear that they might miss?
So if you truly think you would attempt the shots, then why wouldn’t it be the same in the real world with women? Yes, I hate to compare meeting women to a basketball, but you will see the point I’m getting at soon.
Even if you missed 100 baskets before making one, do you think you are going to be driving home with your $10,000 dwelling on all of the balls you missed? NO! You will be thinking about the 10 G’s!
When you DO succeed (and you will), any rejection you had faced up until then will be forgotten, and in my opinion, kind of necessary. Without the balls you have missed, you could argue that your technique would never have improved to the point that you would have landed a shot.
With every single time you missed one of those basketballs, you learned a little, your form improved and you got better.
If you didn’t take any shots, you would never learn, never make $10,000 and probably upset Michael Jordan, which you don’t want. Instead, you now have gotten WAY better at taking free throws, you are $10,000 richer, and you have a pretty bizarre story about MJ paying you $10k.
Tinder and Rejection
I am not going to sit here and feed you bullshit. I refuse to tell you crap like “how any guy can get the hottest girls on Tinder”, that’s click bait. I am here to be real with you.
Rejection makes up a big part of what Tinder is, I mean you are either saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Reject, or not to reject, that is the question…
This is something that has scared some people off in the past, or they have one taste of rejection and are too afraid to push through and keep going. That’s fine, I don’t blame you. If you aren’t feeling mentally prepared, Tinder can potentially be tough.
OK, back to the basketballs for a second. Imagine Michael Jordan now said that every shot you landed, you got $10,000. Now if that happened, I would think the greatest basketball player of all time has a weird obsession with you, but also I would imagine you would get f*cking good at taking free throws!
Fast forward months ahead, you would be a free throw king, have a hell of a lot of money in the bank, and most likely not give two shits about any of the shots you ever missed.
So why not make it the same in your dating life? If you are someone who struggles with rejection, start taking shots!!! The quickest way to overcome rejection is to face it head-on.
As a wise man once said, if you’re going through hell, keep going. You are never going to get more comfortable with it by avoiding it all together. Start now.
So why the hell do I suggest you hop on a dating app like Tinder to help you come to terms with rejection?
Because it is literally the perfect platform for it.
Someone is saying yes or no to you, which could freak a lot of people out. But what it does, is allow you to realize, that there are people out there that will swipe right on you!
Rather than being crushed that every person you swiped right for hasn’t liked you back, you will be stoked when you are hitting it off with that one match that is super into you.
Like with the free throws, if you constantly flex your tinder muscle with no fear of rejection, you WILL get a hell of a lot better at communicating and talking to women.
If you have ever thought “no one is going to like me on tinder” then I strongly advise you to just jump in, give it time, and when you do get ghosted or rejected, think about this: Every time you face rejection, you are one step closer to finding someone who likes you.