How To Get A Date On Tinder
When I first started on Tinder and got past the point of having a decent conversation, the biggest issue I had was how to progress the conversation onto actually meeting up. In the early days, I was never really sure how to ask my match out. When I did, I would either get an excuse, a half-assed ‘yes’ that would never amount to anything or no reply at all. Times have definitely changed though and I’ve been lucky enough to be on hundreds of Tinder dates all around the world. This technique we’re about to talk about has been the reason I was able to get those Tinder dates, without a doubt in my mind. Without it, I wouldn’t have been on half as many.
What Does ‘Planting The Seed’ Mean?
Don’t get the wrong idea by the words ‘planting a seed.’ And if you’re wondering, I’m not talking about the scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin. Although, there are some similarities… Basically, the idea behind the concept is planting the idea of your match seeing you, in a very stress-free manner. In kindergartens terms: making a loose plan for another time to see each other.
Let me give you two examples so you can get one step closer to getting a date from Tinder. Your ‘seed planting’ could be as simple as:
This seems so simple, but hear me out why this is such a necessary step. I suggest you do this fairly early on in the conversation. After getting to know them for quite a while, drop the seed in there casually, and then move on to talking about something else. Don’t start making plans or even talking about a potential date. Move on!
Why This Is The Best Way To Get A Date On Tinder
There are a couple of reasons why I suggest you proceed in this manner. Firstly, with myself and my clients, I have seen that dates are actually less likely to be made when it’s last minute. On the flip side, the further the time from when a date is set, the more likely it is to be canceled. So that tells me two things. 1. Your match on average prefers some sort of warning or at least has to be flirting with the idea of seeing you. And 2. Your match on average also doesn’t want the pressure of setting a date in stone very far into the future from now.
So setting a loose plan gets your match to start asking herself if she does actually want to meet you. This works in your favor because in no way are you putting any pressure on her to lock something in, but she will also be a lot less caught off guard when you do actually arrange to meet up. Let’s break the above examples down even further:
The use of “sometime soon” or “maybe” allows us to take away a hell of a lot of pressure. This is the part of the sentence that shows you are quite laid back in your approach, and your match hopefully won’t feel too anxious with the idea of meeting you. If you leave this off, your match could think you are asking to hang out right now. This could potentially scare them off.
Let’s look at another component of those examples:
So within the same sentence, you show you are someone who knows what you want but are also easy-going and stress-free.
Think about what sounds more confident:
A. “So would you like to hang out sometime?”
B. “We should hang out sometime soon”
Of course, it’s B.
What I’ve found is asking more like the example ‘A’ forces your match to be faced with a more formal decision. Asking outright seems almost more “final”.
Besides the fact that you are definitely helping yourself when you plan a date later down the track, one of the main reasons I suggest going about it this way is because it gives you a real gauge of where you are.
What I mean by that, is judging by your matches response, you should be able to get a fairly decent indication of whether she actually is keen to see you or not.
If it’s a yes, that’s awesome, if she wants to take more time to get to know you, then that’s fine as well. Chances are though, making the loose plan, taking the time to get to know her and hopefully make a connection, you might even surprise yourself when she says ‘yes!’
What Comes Next To Get A Tinder Date?
After planting the seed you want to actually start setting up your date. There’s an important step before doing that though, and it’s knowing when to do so. I’ve written this article: When Is The Right Time To Ask Your Tinder Match Out? Make sure you give that a read before planning your date. If you’ve already read that, or are rearing to jump straight into getting more Tinder dates, make sure you check out this post giving a step-by-step roadmap to planning a Tinder date.
This article has been lifted and updated from my eBook: Tinder Hacked 2018 – A Foolproof Guide To Tinder. Check it out if you want to dig deeper on this topic.