So What Brings You To Tinder?

If you’ve been using Tinder for long enough, you would have definitely heard the age-old question: “What are you looking for on Tinder?” If you’ve then proceeded to freak out, you’re not alone. Maybe you’ve had one of these variations:
  • “Why are you on Tinder?”
  • “What brings you to Tinder?”,
  • “What do you want from Tinder?”
This question is make or break… What if she is thinking the absolute worst about me? What if what we want is completely different and she stops talking to me? Well, my friend, you are not alone if you’ve thought this way. I have heard from numerous guys that they have been unmatched or had conversations fizzle out due to this.

Related: Step-By-Step Roadmap To Getting Dates On Tinder (From A Guy Who’s Been On 200+)

So… How should you answer what you are looking for? Well, the truth is, first of all, it really depends on you, and what you are actually looking for. Are you looking for a hookup on tinder? Or are you looking to start dating? Maybe you are just curious or bored, or somewhere in between. The fact is, everyone is on Tinder for different reasons, and it’s okay to have your own reasons.

Some Of The Reasons People Are On Tinder:

Why Your Match Is Asking What You Are Looking For On Tinder

This is the real question. The main reason she is asking is to see if what you want is aligned with her. So, basically, she is asking this to filter out the wrong kind of guys. It’s a tricky question, especially if her bio is blank. Of course, honesty is the best policy. If you strictly want sex or a relationship, tell them. But for the rest of this post, I’m going to assume you are open to what you are looking for. Maybe a hookup, maybe someone just the hang out with, maybe something more?

What Your Match Is Looking For On Tinder

There are a number of reasons as to why your match is on Tinder. That’s probably why you are freaking out about how to answer her question. I get it man, you don’t want to say you’re maybe looking for something a bit more serious if your match is only looking for a hookup. Remember, this is only if you are open to anything on Tinder and not looking for anything specific. Recently a study explored the difference in intent between male and female Tinder users. Although the results were fairly similar, the intent for one night stands was the main difference between genders. Which I assume a lot of you would have already known.
Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely a lot of women looking for casual sex on Tinder, it’s just quite a bit different to the number of guys. The study reported that 49% of men are mainly looking for a one-night stand as their main priority on Tinder, compared to 15% for female users. The main takeaway from this isn’t that there might be a few more sex-hungry guys out there (which I’m sure you already knew), but mainly that what men and women are looking for isn’t all that different. Another interesting point I take away from this data is the variation in what ALL people are looking for, regardless of being male or female.

Related: How To Spot Fake Tinder Profiles, Bots & Scams

How To Answer “What Are You Looking For On Tinder?”

Are you not sure what you are looking for on Tinder? Great! I don’t think many people are! So when it comes to answering this question, I feel this is the best way to answer it. Now, you don’t want to straight up answer “I don’t know”. That will leave your match disappointed. The best way to answer what you are looking for on Tinder is to be ambiguous, whilst giving your answer. This could sound a bit confusing to some of you, but let me give you an example to help illustrate what I mean.

Question: What are you looking for on Tinder?

Answer: “To be honest, I’m not completely sure. I downloaded it mainly out of boredom and some curiosity. I’m not just on here for sex, but don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with sex. But the main reason I’m on here is to just meet some cool people with no expectations and see where things go.

This might sound like a mouthful to some of you, but I have never ever seen a negative response to this, in fact I feel it always gets a very positive response. That’s because it ticks almost every box, but also doesn’t put you into one specific category of either looking for a hookup or a relationship. Plus, being laid back and open to different experiences is generally an attractive quality. If she wants a hookup, you are the guy, if she wants a relationship you are the guy, plus you aren’t shying away from sex assuming that she doesn’t want that.

If You Are Using Tinder For A Hookup (But Are Open-Minded)

Again, you don’t want to be completely polarizing and say something along the lines of “I just want some casual sex”. Even if your match is this could scare her off. The number of matches you would scare away versus the amount that would like your honesty would be a little too high for my liking… You can (and should) still be honest though, but can do some a little more ambiguously. Here’s an example:

Question: What are you looking for on Tinder?

Answer: “I don’t know the exact answer to that question. I guess it’s not for anything too specific and I’m open to just meeting some cool people. I’m probably not looking for anything too serious, but also not just desperately searching for sex. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with meeting up with someone for sex, but I wouldn’t say that’s the only reason I’m here.”

The takeaway from this example is that you have definitely thought about using Tinder for sex, but are not desperate and strictly trying to get laid from anyone. No one wants to feel like they are one of the many people you are just trying to get a one-night stand from.

If You Are Using Tinder To Find A Relationship (But Are Open-Minded)

From the graph above it’s clear that you are way more likely to find someone with some common ground if this is what you are looking for, especially compared to one night stands. But with that being said, you still don’t want to outright say “I am looking for a serious girlfriend!” It’s just a bit too much pressure. Let’s take a look at an example:

Question: What are you looking for on Tinder?

Answer: “The main reason is to meet some cool people, maybe catch up and see where things go. I’m not desperately searching for my next girlfriend, but not opposed to the idea of meeting someone from Tinder.”

If your match is looking for a partner then this will be perfect for her, but even if she’s not, she wouldn’t freak out thinking that you will be wanting more. Perfect! Remember, I have never seen any negative pushback from any of these responses, so try them out next time you’re faced with this question. Just remember to try and be as honest as you can with what it is you are looking for on Tinder. Don’t lie, and your match will appreciate your honesty and be more willing to hang out. If you are just starting off your Tinder crusade and are interested in getting as many matches as possible, download my free list of 5 unknown ways to get more matches.

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