We’ve all been there with a Tinder match. Your perfect opening line has gone down a treat and now you two are really getting to know one another.
They have a dog named Scoop, they love Chinese food, and they didn’t think much of the final season of Game of Thrones. They’re perfect!
And then, they’re gone.
You can’t find that conversation you poured so much energy into anywhere on your app, and maybe they even disappear from your matches.
Heartbroken, you ask, what does it mean if a conversation disappears on Tinder?
There are a few reasons that a conversation could vanish:
- The user unmatched with you on purpose. Unfortunately, sometimes it happens. Tinder is a place where people make a lot of different connections. And while you might be really feeling that spark, or be ready to commit to something serious, the person on the other side of the chat may not feel the same.
- The user unmatched by accident. Uh oh! Accidental unmatches happen. Maybe it will be the start of a new made for TV romcom, in which a loved-up Tinder user spends days tracking you down based on clues found in your photos (which they screenshotted). Or maybe… well… maybe that’s actually the start of a crime drama. Better swerve it.
- You accidentally unmatched with them. A slip of the thumb, perhaps. Or maybe you had one too many the last time you were out on the town, decided you didn’t want to keep chatting, and now can’t remember why you’d even think that.
- They deleted their account. We’ve all got to the point where we can’t swipe anymore. It may be no reflection on you, more the entire online dating experience! Or perhaps, although things were going well, they had already started seeing someone else and it got serious. You’ll probably never know. Unless their relationship goes to crap and they redownload and rematch!
- They have been banned. They may have been a real charmer with you, but who knows what they’ve been saying or sending to other people. If a user gets banned, any conversation you were having with them will be kicked off the app along with them. Probably a lucky escape for you, though?
- A glitch. Try rebooting the app, and you never know, you may be reunited with that perfect match, and their dog Scoop.
How Do You Avoid A Conversation Disappearing On Tinder?
For things like your match being banned for some creepy behavior, or your own accidental unmatching, there’s little you can do to avoid that conversation disappearing or to get it back. If it happens, it happens, and the best option is to make peace with it and move on.
But, the best way to stop yourself from being unmatched, or the potential love of your life leaving Tinder too soon, could be to just keeping the conversation flowing a little better, or avoiding any questions that people prefer not to be asked.
If you’re looking for a comprehensive guide to making the most of every match on Tinder, download Tinder Hacked. This full and crucially ‘un-douchey’ guide to truly understanding the app offers advice on everything for guys or girls:
- Learn how to send the perfect opening message
- Craft the ideal bio to grab, and keep, their attention
- Plan the perfect date once you finally take things offline
It’ll be the best… um… free you ever spend.
Why Did A Tinder Conversation Disappear Then Reappear?
Alright, sometimes it can be a little difficult to understand how Tinder works. I’ve tried to explain what happens when a conversation disappears, but what if it just appears again?
This is, somehow, not a totally uncommon experience. People have reported vanishing and un-vanishing matches on the app, as well as matches appearing in their list that they are certain they did not swipe. People have even reported all of their matches disappearing.
Tinder is aware of these sorts of issues. And their advice is more or less the same as mine. If you run into problems that seem much more likely to be app-based than anything to do with you and your match, the best thing you can do is try rebooting the app.
You can either do this by:
- Logging out: To log out, click the profile icon, enter Settings, and scroll down to logout.
- Deleting the app: To delete, you usually need to hold down your finger on the app and click delete. On some phones, you may need to go into setting or storage to delete apps.
Can You Tell Whether Someone Unmatched You Or Deleted Their Tinder?
After this article, and after you’ve checked to make sure it wasn’t a glitch you could fix just by logging off and on again, you might end up dwelling on the idea that you’ve been unmatched.
What did you do wrong? What did you say that made it happen? Are they just not attracted to you?
Unfortunately, there are very few ways to confirm whether someone has unmatched with you or just deleted their account altogether.
The only difference may be whether or not they appear in your feed again. If the person has unmatched from you, you in some way have to treat it like being blocked.
You’ll no longer be able to send that person a message and also, you’ll no longer even be able to see them in your feed of potential matches.
A deleted profile, however, will sometimes appear in the feed. It’s a complicated algorithm, but Tinder will sometimes still show inactive profiles for up to 3 months after they’ve been deleted.
Either way, try not to dwell on it.
They might have been great, and the conversation might have been fun, and yes, Scoop was a cute dog. But there are a ton of other users out there on Tinder just waiting for your solid gold sense of humor, and your insights into that new show on Netflix.
Missed chances happen, and making yourself feel bad won’t achieve anything apart from bumming you out and making it harder to find that next great connection.
So, there are a lot of reasons a conversation on Tinder might disappear. Some don’t reflect greatly on you, some won’t reflect greatly on your match, but if you want to make yourself feel a little better just blame the app.
If you’ve decided your conversations have disappeared too damn often, maybe it’s time to discover a new place to find love. If that’s the case, Dude Hack’s free online quiz, which will help you decide on the perfect app for finding someone you can talk to endlessly.