OK, I’m not naive. I know that getting a conversation to flow on Tinder can be easier said than done. A lot of the time that’s because you’re overthinking, trying to write the perfect response or question, and end up being insincere.
There’s no one-size-fits-all of questions to ask on Tinder. In fact, there are times that no matter what you ask your match may not write back to you.
This is just a fact of online dating. What we can do though, is dramatically minimize your chances of this by learning what the experts do to keep their conversations going.
Related: 5 Simple Things To Avoid For Great Tinder Conversations
This simple trick I’m going to teach you is used by all the top salespeople around the world. It’s used to help build instant rapport with people.
These are good questions that actually work and guarantee you response. You’ll avoid any awkward silences and keep the conversation going seamlessly, so use them in your Tinder chats or even on your IRL first date.
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What Is The Best First Question On Tinder?
Before we jump into all the funny, interesting, and even deep questions you can ask your Tinder match, let’s cover this one.
What is the best first question on Tinder? You should always personalize your Tinder opener, so go off your match’s pictures to pick a question. Usually, you’ll see hobbies and activities they’re passionate about – ask an interesting and offbeat question about what you see.
Remember, women receive countless repetitive opening lines on Tinder. A simple “hi” or an over-used name pun won’t cut it. You need to be creative in order to stand out.
Try finding detail in the background of her Tinder photos to ask about – something other guys will have missed.
And before you ask your first Tinder question, ask yourself the question: has she heard this a thousand times before?
Ask The Right Questions On Tinder To Keep The Conversation Going
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I don’t know what the hell to say or ask next”?
If the answer is yes, you are definitely not alone.
Figuring out what to say or ask can be a really difficult task.
If you are an over-thinker like I am, talking to all people can sometimes be difficult, not just women on Tinder.
There used to be times when I would be face to face with someone and literally be stumped on what to say next before my social anxiety would take over and I would come up with an excuse to leave.
Now, with this simple trick, I can keep a conversation flowing for ages.
Let me let you in on a little secret: people love to talk about themselves. When you are talking with someone new, and wanting to build rapport/ interest, it is your job to get that person to open up, so they want to tell their story.
F.O.R.M
F.O.R.M is an acronym created to help you shift your conversation from awkward and quiet, to easy and engaged. Each letter represents a topic that you can easily ask your Tinder match about and is a neat little trick to help any conversation flow.
Related: When To End Your Tinder Conversation At The Right Time
For Tinder, I would use it more as a backup. Once again, our goal should be to have conversations that flow and are natural.
But everyone gets stuck from time to time. Keep this at the back of your mind for those awkward silences and you’ll be golden. Knowing that you have a whole repertoire of questions to ask on Tinder should really put you at ease.
F.O.R.M stands for:
- F: Family/From
- O: Occupation
- R: Recreation
- M: Motivation
Questions To Ask On Tinder Using F.O.R.M
Family/From
I would personally stick with ‘from’ to start off with, before moving into asking more personal questions about their family. Here are some example questions:
- Where are you from originally?
- How long have you been living in x?
- What part of the city is home to you?
- Where did you go to high school/college?
- If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
- Have you ever lived in another country?
- What’s a nostalgic childhood memory for you?
And if you’re asking about family:
- Do you have any brothers or sisters? Who are you most like?
- Are you close to your parents?
- Which of your parents are you most similar to?
Occupation
Work isn’t everyone’s favorite topic, but we spend 40 hours a week doing it so it’s a huge part of life. Asking interesting and offbeat questions about your match’s job – such as what makes her good at it – takes a superficial subject and adds some depth to it.
- What do you do for work?
- What do you do with yourself throughout the week?
- Do you enjoy doing that?
- Is that something you want to build a career in?
- What’s your dream job?
- What’s the worst job you ever had?
- What was your first job?
- If you won the lottery would you keep working?
- What’s the best thing about your job?
- What’s the worst thing about your job?
- Do you get on with your boss?
- What makes you good at your job?
Recreation
Yes, people like to talk about themselves, but not if it’s constantly about boring work! Here, you can really get to know your match, and hopefully, even find some things in common which will definitely help keep the conversation going.
- What kind of things do you do for fun?
- What’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to you?
- What are some of your favorite places in the world?
- When you aren’t working (or studying) what do you like to do with your time?
- Can you recommend me a book? What did you like about it?
- Which show are you binge-watching right now?
- If you suddenly had the day off tomorrow, what would you do?
- What kind of movies/music/sports/food do you like?
- What do you do for self-care?
- Are there any hobbies you’re interested in, but haven’t tried?
- What’s your favorite meal to cook from scratch?
Motivation
This is basically what makes them tick. Things that they hold important to them, how they view the world, and their own wants, fears, and desires.
It sounds a little heavy for Tinder, I know. So I strongly suggest not pulling any of these out until things are flowing pretty well, if at all. You are asking for this person to open up or share personal information, so you want them to be comfortable.
Here are some examples:
- What is really important to you besides work?
- If you never had to work again, what would you do with your time?
- What is the happiest moment of your life?
- When was the last time you cried?
- What have you done recently that you’re proud of?
- What’s on your bucket list? Why haven’t you done it yet?
- What are the characteristics you value most in a friend?
- If you could go back ten years and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be?
- How would your best friend describe you?
- What do you want to be remembered for?
- When was the last time you did something that scared you?
- Are you an early bird or a night owl?
More Interesting Questions To Ask A Girl On Tinder
Here are some of my favorite questions to ask a girl on Tinder:
- Is there anything too serious to joke about?
- What ingredient is always in your fridge?
- How do you like to be seduced by a guy?
- Would you like to be famous? What would you be famous for?
- What’s the weirdest thing in your purse?
- If you were planning to rob a bank, which of your friends would be in the crew and why?
- What one question would you like to ask your pet?
- What’s more important to you – food or sex?
- What do you find most attractive in a guy?
- What turns you off?
- What compliment do you hear the most?
- What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for love?
It’s my strong belief that online dating should be fun, so alongside the ‘get-to-know-you’ questions, you’ll want an arsenal of playful, edgy, flirtatious and downright seductive questions to ask your Tinder match. They’re a fun way of keeping the conversation alive when you’re tired of small talk.
Whether you’re going for deep or just desirous, these questions will have her screenshotting the Tinder chat to ask her friends for help coming up with the perfect answer.
How To Flirt Over Tinder?
Flirting is about a lot more than just asking the right questions. Yes, flirty questions will keep the conversation going and help you get to know your match. But they won’t make your Tinder match crazed about hopping into bed with you.
So you’re asking how to flirt over Tinder? Tease your match playfully about some of her habits and interests and create running jokes you can fall back on, poking gentle fun at her. Alongside the banter, sensualize your conversation by making careful references to sex and sexuality, but don’t stray over into creepiness.
Flirting on Tinder doesn’t come naturally to most guys, which is why I came up with my 6 pillars of a good conversation on Tinder.
These are:
- Guide The Way (Towards A Date)
- Be Ridiculous
- Use Banter
- Empathize
- Sensualize
- Confide
My Hook Her Heart students have been applying the 6 Pillars to have meaningful conversations with their matches. It never gets boring because flirtation is sprinkled in through banter, ridiculousness, and sensualizing.
If you’re serious about turning your Tinder matches into real-life dates, you have to get to know the 6 Pillars of a Good Conversation.
Final Thoughts
While these are proper questions that your match will want to answer, let me stress that you definitely don’t need to follow F.O.R.M to the letter. But it’s just nice to know it’s there for reference if you’re wondering what to talk about on Tinder.
So far I have given you a series of example questions and told you to listen, but we want this to be an engaging conversation, not an interrogation. Even if they’re great questions, you can’t just quiz your match nonstop.
Don’t just be the one shouting out the questions. That’s good advice for Tinder chats and Tinder dates. Take the time to share your viewpoint on things, and use mystery to help keep her interested.
If you want more matches to chat to, it all starts with a great profile, so go ahead and check out my 6 Step Tinder Tune-Up for a total profile level-up.
Seriously. You’ll stop matching low-effort profiles that only lead to low-effort conversations and you’ll start meeting interesting women on Tinder – and having great conversations.
