The first step to great communication is listening. I used to run large telesales offices, and active listening was the biggest lesson I would drill into my sales staff, as it’s so important in all aspects of communication.
You might think listening typically means you being able to hear someone, but you can, by all means, listen on Tinder. Listening just means being present, and actually breaking down and comprehending what is being said/written, and formulating your response based on that.
I think most of us would agree, that an extremely annoying quality is when people cut you off. You’re halfway through explaining something and they jump in with something a question or response that isn’t even completely relevant. Most of the time guessing what you are going to say.
It’s frustrating because it feels like they really aren’t taking on board anything you have said, and are purely thinking about the next thing to come out of their own mouths. I personally hate hanging out with people like this. These days I can pick up extremely quickly if someone is really listening to me or not.
Your match might take a little longer in picking up if your listening isn’t great via online messages, but trust me, eventually, she will realize that what she is saying to you is barely sinking in, so why should she even bother?
Being Engaged In Your Tinder Conversations
Don’t think about the next thing you’re going to say until you read her response. If your match talks about how ‘this week is going to be extra stressful’, or she’s ‘really excited for the weekend’, don’t just respond with: “Cool, so are you doing anything tonight??” or “Great, what area do you live?” Respond to her questions and be engaged yourself!
If you do respond like above, she will either think that you aren’t attentive to the conversation, or that you are just asking questions to eventually ask her over. These are what I like to call ‘I want to take your clothes off’ questions.
Ask yourself, how many questions like these will you use early in a Tinder conversation? So many guys don’t even realize they are minimizing all their chances with this. A simple “what are you doing tonight?” used too early, can create a perception that you’ve purely matched with them to try hookup tonight.
It’s also rather self-indulgent as it shows you are just thinking of your own agenda. A flowing Tinder conversation is when the things go back and forth and the conversing is equal. Be present, listen and take your time, and you will have way better conversations and connections.
Check out our list of 5 Unknown Ways To Get More Matches, and then once you do, make sure you actively listen!