The short answer: Yes, of course over 40s can use Tinder. The long answer: Yes, of course over 40s can use Tinder, but they might not want to. And the full and complete answer is… well… this entire article you’re about to read. Because it’s not as simple as a yes or no. Tinder is built for everyone, but there may well be more appropriate dating sites (sites you’ll enjoy more) out there.
Who Are You?
So, I’m assuming that as you’ve landed here, you’re 40-something or older and you’re on the dating scene. In fact, maybe it has been a while and you’re new to apps and modern dating sites?
Even if you’ve only been off the dating scene for a few years, things have changed. It’s a constantly developing, fast-moving industry, and frankly getting used to all the new apps, sites, abbreviations, gifs and odd profile-photo trends is like a whole additional challenge post-breakup.
I mean really, I just had a 2-hour fight over a Hilary Mantel hardback and an enamel pasta pot, do I actually have to work out how to date too? You do, I’m afraid, but there are plenty of guides to help!
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Who Uses Tinder?
And more importantly, what age group uses Tinder? The app actually has users of all ages, though most are between 18 and 34. There are a solid number of users in the 35-44 age group, so if you’re in your 40s and looking for someone of a similar age then Tinder may well be a good choice for you, especially if you’re combining it with a few other apps.
As it’s free, many Tinder users are on both Tinder and other apps or sites so if you do decide to use Tinder then don’t let that limit you. Tinder tends to be used pretty casually – not that it’s only for hookups (though certainly it facilitates hookups of course) more that the app of it all is sort of a gamified or casualised experience. Swiping is fun, and messages tend to stay light.
Most of Tinder’s 50 million users are in the USA, though other countries aren’t far behind and the app is used worldwide. Of course, Tinder works using location so you’ll only see matches within the radius you’ve set and within the age range you’ve set (I mean, picking from the entire 50 million would be overwhelming), and that means that you will only see people who are appropriate for you even if there are an awful lot of 21 year olds around.
Am I Too Old For Tinder?
As I said, if you’re in your 40s you’re still likely to find plenty of matches on Tinder if you’re looking for dates with people who are a similar age to you. If you’re older than that there may well still be matches to find, but you should probably not put all your eggs in one basket as there are plenty of dating sites full of more mature users. No one is ‘too old’ for Tinder, but there may be diminishing returns at a certain point!
Tinder Tips for Users Over 40
Study the Material
Before you embark on making the perfect profile on Tinder, or on similar apps like Hinge and Bumble, take a look around first. What are other people’s profiles and pictures like? Can you try to emulate the style (or as the youngsters would say, vibe) of the best profiles while still remaining true to yourself and representing who you are? Give it a go! And remember, the pictures matter. Don’t just take a poorly-lit selfie. Either use recent pictures you like, pictures you look good in sure but also pictures you are happy and having fun in.
Embrace It and Have Fun
Tinder is not like the dating you might once have known if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time. There’s a shallow aspect, yes, especially on Tinder, but there’s also a lot of fun to be had. The ‘game’ aspect goes beyond swiping, and dates themselves don’t have to hold a lot of weight.
You can date multiple people until you have the big monogamy conversation, you can meet for a drink or a coffee or simply a walk, you can just have fun texting. It’s a low-pressure enterprise, and more and more people in their 40s, 50s and above are learning that and beginning to lean into it.
Don’t be Afraid! But Also, Trust the Little Voice…
Basically, the first time you meet a stranger from an app it feels weird as hell. Of course it does. It’s a stranger! From the internet! That’s where weirdos and murderers come from!
Sure, it’s also where the loves of people’s lives come from. Both of these things are true. So, don’t be afraid… but also, trust the voice warning you when something is too good to be true or a bit weird. If someone weirds you out at all online then they’re likely to be weird IRL too and should be avoided.
And if someone you thought was great online seems odd in reality, then just make your excuses and go. Part of the low-stakes of Tinder is that a date is not a big deal unless you make it one. I mean, obviously don’t be rude, but don’t be afraid to trust your gut!
The little voice can be overwhelming though. Don’t let it hold you back. If you start chatting and you like someone, then go for it and meet asap. Too much talking online translates into pressure on the date.
Other Options for Over 40
If Tinder is sounding too difficult or too youthful and vapid, or if you fancy putting those eggs in multiple baskets instead of one, then there are a whole host of dating sites that are full of users over 40 who are looking for love (or you know, looking for fun). These aren’t dating sites specifically built for an older user base, but they’re built for grownups nonetheless and tend to attract a crowd that’s over 30!
If you’re looking for something serious, or serious-ish (you know, going on a few dates and seeing where it goes, maybe it’s just fun but wow is it fun!), then eharmony is a great option. With over 2-million successful matches to its name, eHarmony is the dating site with one of the best success rates in the game. It uses advanced matching technology to help you find someone you will really, truly click with. This is a dating site you have to pay for, but its success rate can’t be beat, with over 60% of users finding a serious partner within a year.
And if you want something more akin to a hookup, then why not try Adult Friend Finder. This is a site built for making casual connections, but also built for grownups. That’s a label that comes not with age of course, but with actions.
You can use either of these sites, or many more, in conjunction with Tinder. I mean, if you just got out of something big then shop around! Find the site you like, and then go on a few dates. See what you want, and see what you want. Maybe it has changed as much as dating itself has changed since you were last on the market.