Using Mystery To Your Advantage
Years ago I could never understand where I would go wrong with my Tinder chats. I would think the conversations were going well, I was telling my match about myself whilst also learning about her. So, what was I doing wrong?
Well, I learned that I was revealing a little too much about myself. And no, I don’t mean sharing too much personal or embarrassing information. I basically gave away every ace up my sleeve right off the bat, leaving my match with no questions, interest, or intrigue.
There isn’t too much necessarily wrong with this, it just means you could be generating a lot more curiosity if you weren’t doing this. I think we can all agree that in a very competitive environment like Tinder that this would definitely be a benefit.
If you have Tinder chats fizzle out all the time, then you may be interested in this concept. This isn’t some dating mind trick; this is a simple communication skill that most strong communicators possess.
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How To Get Your Match Asking Questions Using Mystery
I use the word mystery for lack of a better term. In a nutshell, it means not showing your hand straight away to help guide the conversation.
For example, let’s say that you have arrived in a new city, and your match asks how you are. Instead of responding with the fact that you’re doing great because you just arrived a few days ago, moving from x, staying for 10 nights and you love it here already. Instead, you might respond with:
“I’m doing great. Loving the city so far. What are you up to?”
The reason this is effective, is it now raises a question. The human brain works on a series of questions. Marketing relies on the fact that when the human brain comes across a question, it will start to attempt at answering it straight away, whether it realizes it or not.
That’s why most advertisements you will see, will have a question in the headline somewhere because that marketer relies on your craving to have an answer. So if an obvious question arises in your matches brain, there’s a good chance they will need it answered.
Going back to the example we just gave, more often than not, you can imagine saying that to your match would result in a question about where you are from, or how long you have been in the city.
Another example would be if something interesting or cool has happened to you that day, rather than telling your match straight away, when they ask you how your day was, you could respond with:
“It was a very interesting day! Now I’m just relaxing, what are you up to?”
If you are finishing work later, you could respond with:
“I can’t wait for the next 2 hours to be done!”
Even if I personally wasn’t that interested in talking to someone, but they said something like above, I would need to know more. Therefore being more intrigued by them.
The options are endless. Take on board this simple communication trick, and see your conversations and connections grow stronger, in a seemingly much easier way.
You’re probably keen to try this out now. If you want more matches so you can try this more, make sure you go grab our list of 5 unknown ways to get more matches.