The world of Tinder can seem a little overwhelming. What should you put in your bio? What should you message first to ensure that you get a reply?
Everyone has their own methods of trying to find a partner on Tinder, some undoubtedly more successful than others, but I’ve compiled a list of nine rules of Tinder to follow to make sure that you are giving yourself the best chance of getting matches and keeping up a conversation once the mutual attraction is established.
So, without further ado, here are the top nine rules of Tinder to abide by to ensure the best experience on the app for both you and other users.
1. Do not have only one photo on your profile
However, your matches want to see more than just one photo of you! Photos are an important way of showing a bit of your personality to potential matches, so be sure to add more than just a selfie.
Personally, I would make sure that there is at least one clear full body shot on your profile so that potential matches can get an idea of what you look like.
Photos of you doing things you enjoy or in places you visited are a bonus and show other users a bit more about you. Just don’t go including yourself shirtless in any of those pictures.
By having more photos on your profile, both you and your potential matches know what to expect if you are to meet in person, which saves so much time in the long run. I go into way more detail on photos in my book Tinder Hacked.
2. Do not solely use group photos
On the other hand, make sure that you do not use solely group photos on your Tinder profile. Let’s face it – a lot of people swipe through profiles on Tinder pretty fast – so it’s important to make it as easy as possible for other users to know who they’re even swiping left or right in the first place.
If there is a profile where it is difficult to tell who is the potential match out of a group of friends, most people swipe left. Some go quite far in saying group shots will ruin your chances completely, I disagree. Just make sure you prioritize clear photos of yourself alone especially at the start of your profile to make it easy for your potential matches to see who you are.
3. Be honest about your age
This one echoes what is expected of you at all times, whether in person or online. Lying about your age is a big deal – Tinder is designed for users 18 and up and the app allows its users to filter by age as they know every user has a specific age bracket they are comfortable with their matches being.
If you lie about your age on Tinder, this completely undermines that process and, in the long term, isn’t going to do you any favors. Tinder is beginning to roll out ‘age verify’ across their locations, meaning that users are required to scan their ID to prove their age before they can message matches.
This is great as it will help to prevent catfishing and ensures everyone on the site is the age they claim to be – but until then, just be honest about your age on Tinder!
Going further than this, you really shouldn’t lie about, well, anything. Keep honest about things like your height and other physical characteristsics too.
4. Try to start conversations with something other than ’hey’
There’s nothing inherently wrong with ‘hey’. It’s just very easy for your matches to ignore – you’re not really giving them much of a reason to reply. Chances are, they may even reply with ‘hey’ in return and then you’re back to square one, and it’s your turn to think of something to say.
Therefore, it’s much better to skip this mediocre part of the conversation and make yourself stand out in their messages in the right way. Try and make your messages more personal to their profile, so it doesn’t seem like you’re using the same lines with everyone in your match queue. Do you have any of the same hobbies?
Have they traveled to places that you’d love to visit? In my opinion, it’s much better to put yourself out there and personalize your message something thought out and unique rather than opting for ‘hey’ and blending in with the rest of their matches who have done the same. No one wants to carry a conversation, so let your matches know you’re a great conversationalist from the start.
If you’re completely stumped on how to come up with an opener, check out my collection of 60 great openers that you can get some inspiration from.
5. Do not repeatedly delete Tinder and re-register
Have you ever had it where you’re swiping through profiles, and you see the same person come up that you definitely swiped left on last week? They’ve probably deleted their old profile and made another, meaning that they start again with none of the matches they had before, everyone is back in the stack of profiles to swipe through.
When you do this once, okay, it’s a little confusing for those who have already swiped on your profile. But do this repeatedly, and you’re not giving a great impression at all. It makes it unclear what you are on Tinder for, why would you delete your profile if you have matches who are trying to start a conversation with you?
Sure, there are times when you might want a clean slate, I won’t completely count that out, but the arguably the biggest reason you shouldn’t do this is that Tinder algorithm will punish you with a lower ELO score. Even if you start fresh with a completely new Tinder, the algorithm has its ways on picking this up. If you do want to start fresh and reset your ELO score, or you don’t even know what your ELO score is, check out my article on resetting your account after Tinder has deleted it.
6. Try not to ghost any of your matches
Some users are on Tinder just out of curiosity, aren’t sure what they are looking for, and just want to have some fun swiping through profiles to see who is nearby. They may have no intention of meeting anyone in person, and aren’t bothered about making conversation much either. This is unavoidable.
However, it is important to remember that the people you match with and chat with on Tinder are still people, even if you have never met them in person. Though it may not seem like a big deal to you, it can be hurtful to stop replying to a match mid-conversation. It’s always better to be clear about what you’re looking for on Tinder and to not waste other users’ time if you know eventually you will ghost them.
7. do not list all of your “requirements” in your bio
There’s nothing wrong with being a little fussy, and knowing what you like. However, there’s no need to make these known to everyone on Tinder – it can make you seem a bit obnoxious and close-minded. Bios that include the body type, height, job description, even personality traits they desire in a partner say more about you than the partner you’re looking for, and probably not in the best way.
Even if a potential match did meet all the preferences expressed in your bio, they are less likely to swipe right if they feel that you are unapproachable and perhaps a little shallow when it comes to your potential partner’s appearance, which is the most common requirement I see in Tinder bios.
I would recommend keeping an open mind – after all, if someone does not fit your personal criteria, you can simply swipe left without letting every other user know what you are looking for, and that way no feelings get hurt. I have spoken in a little more detail about Tinder bios to avoid in the video below – so if you’re unsure if your bio is helping or hindering your success on the app, watch below.
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8. Do not have an empty bio
Though your requirements in a partner are not what to fill the 500-character bio with, try not to leave it completely blank either. Offer up a little of your personality, so that other users get to know a bit about you and have more of an idea of what to talk about if you match and begin to message each other.
No one wants to read a short story, but sharing your interests, your perfect date ideas, how you spend your evenings, or what you do for work all allow a bit of an insight into your life that can intrigue your potential matches and make them want to get to know you more.
Plus, it makes you seem a little less like a catfish if you inject some personality into your profile that does not always translate from pictures. In a study done with over 100,000 different male profiles, those with a bio were almost twice as likely to receive a match.
In short, have a bio! Potential matches want to get to know you, so think about what is important in your life and try to show all of the best bits about you.
9. Be friendly and open-minded
These days, there really is something for everyone on Tinder. It’s not just about hookups, but there is no pressure to quickly match with someone nearby and find yourself in a long-term relationship either.
No matter what you’re using Tinder for, my final rule of Tinder is to be friendly and open to talking to lots of different people on the site. Who knows, you might find someone that you had not imagined would be a perfect match, but turns out to be extremely compatible.
As I said previously, it’s important to remember that the profiles you see on Tinder do have people behind them. Many of the same rules that we know well about dating in person still apply. Be honest about what you’re looking for, and if something isn’t working out, do the decent thing and express this rather than simply unmatching or ghosting.
Frankness is always going to be respected on Tinder, as with so many users on the app, if you’re not convinced that you want to pursue anything with the person you’re making conversation with, for someone else they’re perfect. In short – have fun, make good conversation, but if it’s not working out – convey that and move on. No one likes a time-waster.
If you’re looking to find out more about how to maximize your success on Tinder, my eBook ‘Tinder Hacked’ might be a handy guide to help you navigate the app, from making your profile to securing a date. If I had one piece of advice to give, as cliché as it might sound, is to just be as authentic as you can on Tinder.
Concealing the truth about your age, only using one blurry photo and not having a bio is not going to get you very far on the app, and for someone on there, your honest self, (quirks included) is just what they’re looking for in a partner. Express yourself through your photos and your bio, and then you can enjoy finding someone nearby who wants the exact same things as you.