What Is eHarmony?
If the dating heavyweight eHarmony has proved anything, it’s that love doesn’t have to be a challenge.
The founder of eHarmony, Dr. Neil Clark Warren, spent 35 years as a clinical psychologist and couples counselor. Over time, he realized that a compatible personality was the most essential characteristic of a successful relationship.
One day, he decided to take his years of experience and run with it, creating the most successful dating site in history.
Since its launch in 2000, over 2 million people are reported to have found love with eHarmony.
Quickly becoming the world’s #1 trusted dating website, eHarmony has a glowing record of happy couples, accounting for 4% of the total marriages each year in the U.S.
The personality quiz matching system has become internationally renowned for its depth and intricacy, boasting incredible accuracy when bringing like-minded people together. You can go ahead and take the quiz for free here.
It is even reported that 69% of men meet their eventual spouse within a year of using eHarmony. Just a single year!
When also considering that the eHarmony divorce rate is only at around 3%, compared to the national U.S. average of about 50%, eHarmony proves it can deliver over and over again.
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Does eHarmony Work?
eHarmony bases its matching system on compatibility. Following the sign-up personality test, you will be suggested to others based on a score out of 140. The higher the score, the more alike you are to someone.
Based on intense scientific research, eHarmony has boiled down personality into 29 dimensions of compatibility. In each of these sections, you’ll be ranked and rated in relation to each of your potential matches.
Matches are suggested to you based on compatibility scores and location. After all, what good is matching with your perfect partner, only to find them on the other side of the world?
20 years of constant refining has led to eHarmony having the undisputed best matching algorithm out there. The days of endless swiping are long over.
I totally understand that every dating site has an entirely different layout and style. That can be a little confusing. But don’t worry, I’ve spent hours looking through every little section of eHarmony to ensure I can give you the best possible run down.
I’ll let you know everything from how you send messages to how the compatibility ratings work. Let’s jump right in.
Trust me, eHarmony is not one you’re going to want to miss out on.
eHarmony User Overview
It’s no surprise that eHarmony continues to grow in popularity, considering that more and more people are using dating apps to find love every year.
Now coming in with around 30 million users worldwide, eHarmony has been delivering happy relationships since the beginning.
eHarmony also has a balance of ages on the site. Alongside this, gender is almost exactly equal, coming in at 51% male and 49% female. This is much better than most dating sites, which tend to be male-dominated.
eHarmony is the place to be if you’re serious about wanting to get into a relationship. In fact, the majority of users report that they are looking for either marriage or a serious relationship.
Age Range Of Users
What Is eHarmony Made For?
eHarmony Sign Up
The eHarmony sign-up process has garnered international fame over the past couple of years. This app boasts incredible success rates, with the sign-up personality quiz being a big reason for that success.
If you want to skip ahead and try it for yourself, you can sign up and take the quiz for free here.
eHarmony focuses on matching based on personality compatibility. But first, obviously, they need to find out a little about you! Their personality quiz takes about 20 minutes in total.
Now, if you’re not totally set on eHarmony yet and don’t want to slog through 20 minutes of testing, don’t worry.
I’ve done the grunt work, having been dragged over the coals by eHarmony, so you don’t have to. I’ll break down the process and show you what sort of questions you’re likely to experience.
Unlike most dating apps, eHarmony jumps right into the deep end. The philosophical ‘What are your main three reasons for wanting a relationship?’ starts you off. If you thought that was a little bold, you’d find the answers even more personal.
Pick from ‘So I’m not alone’ or ‘Emotional security’ right off the bat to make you really begin to spiral. Well, at least it’s cheaper than a therapist.
From there, you’ll be taken through questions that either relate to yourself or about your potential partner.
The same thing goes for ‘What is most likely to make you interested in someone?’, picking between Career, Financial security, Health and fitness, Warm-heartedness, and Appearance. Although you might be thinking, “I actually wouldn’t mind all 5 of these”, the point of the test is to narrow down exactly what is MOST important to you.
Many of the qualities that eHarmony is looking for are incredibly general. We’re all looking for someone friendly and ‘warm-hearted,’ but is that more important than other aspects?
You might not know that off the top of your head, but eHarmony sure will be the end of the quiz.
eHarmony assumes that there might have been a couple of overcome heartbreaks in your past if you’re looking for the one.
One of my personal favorite questions was ‘How do you react to lovesickness?’, with the only possible heartbreak reactions being ‘I eat more than usual’, or ‘I don’t enjoy food as much’. eHarmony loves emotional eating.
The compatibility matching section of the quiz explores the different traits of a person. This is where many personality match scores come from, so make sure to take your time!
These questions discuss how you are seen by your friends and how you want the world to see you.
Questions that you’re only allowed to submit one answer to, such as ‘Your ideal partner should be’ really make you think.
Is it A: Looks good with me, B: Shares my interests, or C: Is irresistible to me? Because apparently, we’re not allowed to want more than one of those things.
A simple question like ‘What do you want your partner to like about you?’ has 34 possible answers, of which you pick 5. You really have to narrow down exactly what’s important to you, which is one of the reasons eHarmony works so fantastically.
If anything, by the end of this sign-up process, you’ll have learned a little more about yourself.
I have to say though… I’m not sure how picking which shape you think is more appealing is a good way to help you find someone compatible, but I’ll trust the experts know what they’re doing!
Making Your eHarmony Profile
Profile creation is the heart of a dating app. eHarmony is no different, with sections for Profile Photos, Personal Quote, My Profile (general statistics), Who Am I? About Me, and Leisure and Sports.
You can really go to town on customizing your profile, filling in as much or as little as you would like.
Of course, I always say that when you’re looking for something serious, the biggest turn-off of a profile is a blank one! No one wants to talk to someone who couldn’t even take the time to write a few lines about themselves.
This section also asks you to select a profile header photo, which is a casual stock image of colors, landscapes, or anything in-between.
Love literature? Philosophy? Movies? Well, this is your chance to display one of your favorite quotes. This could be something you live by, your personal mantra that lets people know what you’re looking for.
Safe to say, I nearly deleted the app when one of my matches had ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ like hers. Tragic times.
This is where typical dating app stats come into play. These span from lifestyle questions, like ‘Do you have kids?’ and ‘Are you religious?’ to physical details like height, location, ethnicity, and education.
This is a quick way to build up some facts about yourself on your profile. If you’re sweeping through someone else’s profile, this is where you get the bulk of statistics.
Who Am I?
Moving on from facts to more psychological ideas, this section allows for some written and selected responses. eHarmony has boiled down the most important aspects of a person’s personality into four questions.
The first, ‘I’m Thankful For,’ lets you write up to 5 answers letting the world know what your priorities in life are.
Next up, ‘Best Life Skills,’ have you choose up to 5 skills out of a range of 34. These skills range from ‘Appreciating art and culture’ to ‘Car maintenance and repair,’ so I’m sure you’ll find a couple of things you’re good at somewhere.
This was one of my favorite sections to fill in, with various skills meaning everyone can find a few things they’re great at.
‘Things I can’t live without’ is exactly as it sounds, letting you type up to 5 answers. These type-your-own answers let you be creative. Show a bit of what makes you tick.
Finally, ‘My Friends Describe Me As’ shows 32 traits, of which you can select 5. To make the experience even more authentic, text a mate and see what they say.
Unfortunately for me, the description my friends gave me didn’t quite fall into the appropriate for a dating app style.
This section is a classic question and answer. You choose which to fill in on your profile, only the ones you’ve replied to being added. So, there won’t be any empty questions if you don’t bother with this section.
That said, you can give a lot of information about yourself in this part. Questions can be reflective (‘Something I want to do more often is…?’), speculative (‘My ideal first date would be’), or personal (‘My most unforgettable travel story’). I answered mine in two seconds, so make sure you put in way more effort!
This section prompts you to share aspects and stories from your life. I think this is one of the more important sections, with many of the profiles I’ve seen on my journey through eHarmony going pretty in-depth on a question or two.
People really get detailed with this, one of the best answers I saw in this section replying to ‘As a kid, I had the firm conviction that’ was ‘it was pronounced button-up squash.’ That really got to me for some reason—Button-up squash.
Seeing personality quips like that can be the difference between someone reaching out or moving on from your profile.
Quality over quantity is the motto here. Better to have a lengthy description or anecdote about an aspect of your life, rather than just filling in one or two words on all of them.
After all, there are around 20 prompts to pick from – find something that works for you!
Leisure & Sport
You’ve delved into a personal story, you’ve written down your statistics, you’ve uploaded your photos. Now it’s time for something a little more entertaining. In this section, you’ll be able to fill in hobbies and interests.
Two of the sections within this category, ‘Favourite TV Shows and Movie’ and ‘Favourite Books’ are open-ended, letting you type your responses.
The other sections give you a couple of options to tick off. Questions like ‘I Spend My Free Time,’ ‘I Like,’ and ‘Music taste’ will allow you to add between 1 and 6 options to your profile.
Taking a further look at one of these, your answers to ‘I Like’ can be pretty much a hobby under the sun, ranging from Literature to Needlework to Architecture. eHarmony really does try and accommodate everyone’s interests. I mean, come on, needlework?
After filling out each one of these sections, you’ll receive a 100% profile completeness score, giving you the satisfaction of knowing you’re putting yourself completely out there.
Dating starts on the profile, be sure to make yours shine.
What You See On Other eHarmony Profiles
The first thing you’ll see when you click on other eHarmony users’ profiles is their photos, age, career roles, and ‘last online’ timer. Just to the side of that information, you’ll have a ‘Compatibility Score’ symbolized by a multicolored heart.
Your profile looks almost identical to all the other profiles on the app, which is why it’s best to personalize your answers as much as possible.
In each section, you’ll be able to ‘Like’ an answer to a profile, which will send them a notification. If you find something particularly funny, endearing, or just interesting, make sure to let them know!
But now on to the most exciting part of profiles, the Compatibility score. This feature is central to the eHarmony experience, matches being suggested on this rating before anything else.
It’s a little tricky to get your head around, so I’ll break it down into parts.
Profile Compatibility Score
The famous eHarmony algorithm will break down someone’s compatibility with you into an overall score, based on closeness in four categories.
This is by far the most interesting feature of eHarmony, giving you an incredibly detailed breakdown of how you match up with someone.
Once you click on the heart symbol, you’ll be taken to a very colorful graph, displaying your overall compatibility score and places where you match up.
Both in terms of design and psychology, this is fantastic. It looks great while also providing a massive amount of information.
The four categories you are compared to are titled ‘Fundamentals of your personality’, ‘How you behave in a relationship’, ‘Your everyday life’, and ‘Style of communication’. Let’s take them one by one, working out what those titles actually mean.
Fundamentals Of Your Personality
This section is designed to explore how a person interacts with the world around them, spanning things that define them and react to situations.
You will be presented with five graphs, holding a box plot average for the population, as well as both of your individual scores.
Each graph relates to one ‘fundamental’ aspect of who you are. These are broken down into ‘How do you see the world’, ‘Balance of passion and conscience’, ‘gender roles’, ‘degree of closeness’, and ‘How empathetic are you?’.
Each graph has a few different features ranked on a scale of 60-140, 140 being the highest possible rating.
That means if you scored 140 on Intellect, you’d probably be a very rational and educated person. While someone who scored only 60 on empathy might be a little bit psycho. It’s good to know these things!
If any of the traits confuse you, there is a little ‘i’ next to each heading which can explain even further.
How You Behave In A Relationship
This section of your chart focuses on your emotional side, exploring how you seem to others and approach situations.
The extent to which you’re an optimist or pessimist, introvert or extravert, or willing to compromise are all featured here. Again, you’ll have both your score (in blue) and your potential matches’ (in white) on one graph.
One interesting section within this category is ‘How you deal with frustration’, which has been broken down regarding four typical reactions.
Even though the sign-up process didn’t seem to have any questions directly relating to this, they still had me pegged pretty accurately.
You score on ‘Generosity’, ‘Tendency to Compensate’, ‘Tendency to Withdraw’, and ‘Assertiveness’ based on how you react to frustration.
It’s little things like this that make people fall in love with (and on) eHarmony. Personality tests are fascinating to look at while also giving you a great idea of the other person.
Your Everyday Life
This category illustrates aspects of what you do every day and what makes you feel happiest. You’ll be rated on conventionality vs unconventionality, desire for structure, desire to be at home and need for physical activity.
All of these can make a huge impact on a relationship, largely defining how you interact with others and what you like to spend your time doing.
You are the red bar in this category, corresponding to the larger compatibility chat’s red bar quarter.
Style Of Communication
Finally, the orange section of your graph will relate to how you communicate, both verbally and non-verbally.
This section is by far the most psychoanalytical, so if you’re not ready to read about how your relationship with your parents influenced you, maybe skip this one.
You will be given a chart of how positive and negative parental interactions influence your communication, even going into phrases you might commonly say.
The chart then goes on to further detail how aspects of your childhood come out in your adult life. Things like being spontaneous, obedient, or manipulative are all included.
How we navigate the world comes from how we interacted and interacted with others when we were learning these skills. It’s actually quite strange to find out so much about someone (or even just yourself).
The app does a fantastic job on the personality compatibility front.
Everyone you encounter on eHarmony will have a ranking between 60-140. If someone is around 100, then you have plenty in common and will have a lot to chat about.
eHarmony reports that anything over 110 is excellent, promising that you will harmonize particularly well.
If someone is below 100, don’t totally discredit them. You could also have a sense of humor or personal interests in common. Although the algorithm is accurate, still always go with your gut.
eHarmony was not joking when it stated they had the “most comprehensive” algorithm in the world.
eHarmony Communication – How To Message Others
Messaging on eHarmony gives you a lot of features to play around with. When I compared eHarmony to EliteSingles, I said that eHarmony came out on top in regard to messaging, and that truly holds up.
At eHarmony, they want to see you succeed. Messaging is a huge part of that. Not sure what to write? They’ve got you covered, being able to do a communal icebreaker through messages.
This will initiate a compatibility game (see a theme here?) between you and a match.
In the icebreaker game, you will be shown 5 pairs of images, of which you select your favorites. You and your potential partner will then compare which you chose, giving you a way in by talking about why you liked one image over another.
If you want to check on someone’s profile to see if they’re interested in you before sending an icebreaker, you can also send a ‘Smile’ directly to them.
This lets a potential match know that you’ve seen their profile and are interested in what you’ve seen. If they smile back, it might be time to move over to messaging.
For premium members of eHarmony, messaging is unrestricted and easy. You can receive messages if you have a basic account, but upgrading is required if you want to freely chat with others.
Considering that everyone upgrades to this premium level, you only see those serious about dating. You’ll never have a last-minute flake again!
Apart from text messages, you can also arrange a video date with someone. This is essentially just Facetime within the eHarmony app, a new feature as of April 2020. I wonder if you can guess why they introduced it then?
You can activate this after exchanging a few messages with someone, stopping random people from getting in contact with people they don’t know.
If you want to have a chat in a relaxed atmosphere without going anywhere, just head over to the eHarmony video date. This is a fantastic feature, taking the pressure out of first-time meetings.
The eHarmony app is dating at its finest. It’s broken down into 5 sections, with an easy-to-learn structure that will have you chatting in no time.
From left to right, you move across ‘Matches’, ‘Chats’, ‘Visitors’, ‘Profile’, and ‘Settings’.
Matches is where you can scroll through people who have a high compatibility score with you and live by.
Chats is where all the messaging of eHarmony takes place, including video and ‘Smiles’.
Visitors give you an idea of who has been looking at your profile, letting you know if anyone has had a cheeky look since you’ve last been online. If they have, maybe shoot them a Smile and see what happens.
The profile is where you can edit any of the personal details which you have filled out.
Finally, Settings is surprisingly where you can adjust the settings within the app. There isn’t too much in this section, mainly just where you can Restore Subscriptions if you bought on a different phone or on the website.
eHarmony For Seniors
There is no discrimination when it comes to age on eHarmony. With a reported 14% of all members being 50+, there will be tonnes of matches out there for you.
Considering the total dating pool on eHarmony is about 30 million, that’s a hell of a lot of people to pick from.
It’s also for those reasons above why I voted eHarmony in the top 2 dating apps for seniors.
If you’re looking to get back in the game, look no further.
eHarmony Free Features
The free version of eHarmony is admittedly quite limited. This is mainly due to the fact that they don’t want people matching with others if they’re not seriously interested. You won’t be able to see other people’s photos, having a blurred effect placed on top.
However, eHarmony does let you set up your profile in full and start matching with other people. You can even check out your compatibility rating with other people.
This is even more interesting, as you don’t have anything to go off other than their personality compatibility and profile details.
Suppose you stumble across someone with a high rating that you also like the sound of from their profile. In that case, it is definitely hard to say no to upgrading and following up.
When you’re looking for something serious, the most annoying thing you can come across is people who mess you about.
eHarmony has been in the game too long and is too successful to put up with flaky people. That’s why there’s a paywall for most of the features.
They want every user to have the best possible chance of finding someone who wants the same thing they do. Although, I highly encourage anyone to check out the free version anyway before upgrading.
That said, if you are looking for something a bit more casual, AdultFriendFinder is one you’ll want to check out.
eHarmony Premium Features
View Unlimited Photos: When you upgrade you will be able to view all photos included on a profile. Unfortunately with the free version, you won’t be able to do so.
Unlimited Messaging: You can send messages freely you will have to upgrade
Distance Search: You can set a filter to search profiles within a certain distance
View Who Has Viewed You: You can see which profiles have viewed your own profile. This is great to see who’s been checking you out and how often.
Detailed Personality Profile: eHarmony Premium profiles come with much more information to help find others that would be a good match.
Browse Anonymously: You can view profiles without them being alerted that you did so.
eHarmony prices are split into three tiers – Premium Light, Premium Plus, and Premium Extra.
Don’t be fooled, these different names are actually just reflecting the amount of time you’ll have a premium account for, each tier being 6, 12, and 24 months respectively. All the features of each level are exactly the same.
That said, plenty of other articles don’t take into account the price change that happened as of August 25th, 2020. Also, each tier can be paid for in 1, 2, 3, or 4 payments.
So if you just want to pay the full amount upfront, go right ahead. Or, if you want slightly less of a big hit, you can opt for 2, 3, or 4 smaller payments.
A 6-month membership, known as Premium Light, comes in at $395.40, equivalent to $65.90 a month.
A 12-month membership, known as Premium Plus, will cost you $550.80, totaling $45.90 each month.
The longest possible membership is 24 months, known as Premium Extra, which will cost $861.60 and is valued at $35.90 a month.
As you can see, the more months you subscribe to, the cheaper your subscription gets. The option to pay in installments also makes the membership much more affordable.
eHarmony also frequently does 50-60% off sales. I was actually offered one when I first signed up for eHarmony, as well as this time when I created a test profile for this article.
All you need to do is sign up for a free account and complete your personality quiz. These eHarmony coupons are also released on the site once you’re a free member all the time, so keep an eye out.
If you’re not sure you want to take the plunge straight away, you may as well sign up for free and wait for a discount sale to start.
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eHarmony Value For Money
When it comes to dating sites, not many can hold a candle up to eHarmony. There’s no question that it’s on the expensive side, but, in my opinion, the proven results make the price worth it.
The compatibility rating gives you an incredibly in-depth overview of where you and a potential match cross over. This means that a lot of the heavy lifting is done for you already.
All you need to do is reach out, you already have the matching system to back you up.
The psychology-based system of matching puts eHarmony leaps and bounds above other apps. There is a reason that I rated eHarmony the number one dating site to help find a relationship.
At the end of the day, can you really put a price on the opportunity to find your perfect person?
Real-Life Success & Reviews
Nothing beats reading the stories of the countless happy couples that eHarmony has brought together. And trust me when I say there is a whole lot.
But what makes eHarmony such a successful site? I took a deep dive into the research, so you guys didn’t have to.
According to an article published by PNAS(Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences), eHarmony is so successful as its algorithm has “the potential to improve their matching algorithms through data analysis, experiences, and machine learning over time”.
When you read these happy stories, don’t be put off because that’s another fish out of the sea. Just know that every match made is a tiny refinement of an algorithm that’s working for you!
One of my favorite reviews comes from Emily and Robert, who have been happily married since 2006. Emily writes:
“I was always curious where one finds the love of their life. After a while, I heard a lot of people talking about eHarmony! It convinced me that someday when I was ready to find the right person, that I would start my search on eHarmony. And it didn’t take long. I signed up on a Sunday night and was matched with Robert, my husband, the following day. It’s been a whirlwind romance. Now I’m moving into a new home, and I’m happily married to my soul mate. It was so perfect how it all worked out. We are huge advocates of eHarmony. Everyone we know that is single, we tell them to go on eHarmony, to find their true love as we did. We are so grateful for what eHarmony has given us.”
If you need any more proof that eHarmony’s success, you might want to scroll through the 35(!!) pages of case studies that eHarmony displays on their site.
With someone finding love every 14 minutes, what’s stopping you?
eHarmony Customer Care
If for any reason you need to contact eHarmony customer support, they make it easy.
First off check out their support center for the answer to your question.
Or, if you’re more of a phone call to a real person kind of guy, they are available on 8000280308 from 4 pm – 12 am Monday – Friday.
The support team is lovely and will clear up any concerns you have.
eHarmony has fought hard and earned its spot as the most successful dating app out there. With countless positive reviews, unbeatable records, and a personality quiz that will have you mulling over the last 20 years of your life, eHarmony has all its bases covered.
Compatibility ratings are one of the most exciting features of any current dating app. eHarmony just happens to do it best.
Luckily, all that information is available for free on eHarmony.
You may as well sign up, take the personality quiz, and see who gets recommended to you. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be blown away by how in-depth their compatibility ratings can be.
Knowing you have things in common with someone gets your foot in the door, a little boost that can go a long way.
I guess, at the end of the day, love really can be a science.