If you’ve read any of my Tinder advice, you would know that I absolutely love analogies. Well here’s another one for you: I like to think of Tinder like football. For any massive football fans, I’m Australian so please excuse my lack of correct terminology…
Anyone who has watched football would know the quarterback basically has a “window” of time to be able to make the perfect pass. If the quarterback were to throw the ball too quickly every time without his team ready, he would be wasting his opportunities.
Let’s think about the football analogy once more. If the quarterback were to do the opposite and wait too long to pass, he will miss his opportunities. Now keep in mind, every single Tinder conversation is different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all method to find that perfect window to ask her out. It could be 20 minutes after matching, or 2 weeks later. Let’s take a look at the best ways to look out for that “window” the best we can. You’ll be a finding it like Tom Brady in no time.
Why you don’t want to ask your match out too late or early
If you are on Tinder to go on dates, or even just for something casual, you need to get to know your match. This is why we don’t throw the ball too quickly. If the match you are talking to picks up that you are merely interested in rushing the conversation along just to get in their pants, there’s a good chance they will stop responding. It gives off the impression that you are not interested in getting to know them and purely after one thing. I have seen it over and over again when the first message is talking about catching up. It’s way too forward.
On the flip side, there are going to be times where the iron will be hot, and you will be in the right place at right time to ask your match out. This is because that “window” we’ve been talking about, could very well close.
This might be the only time that meeting up with your match will work. She may just be in town for the night, might just be in the mood that one night to hang out, or might have a hectic work schedule that this is her only time free. Plus, not many people are on Tinder for a pen pal. So, any interest in you could fizzle out over time if she thinks you are never going to ask her out. On that note, 9 times out of 10, asking her out earlier is better than later.
When your match is ready to be asked out NOW
Before we get into it, please keep in mind that this isn’t a set “formula” on when to ask your match out. As I said, this is the best way to get a gauge if the time is right. But if you are feeling awesome vibes and feel the two of you are hitting it off, don’t read into if she’s ready or not too much. Just go for it.
A lot of the time women won’t come right out and say they are interested in meeting that day or night. This all comes down to looking out for certain telltale signs. Let’s take a look at these.
Look out for language along the lines of:
“ I don’t think I have too many plans…”
“I feel like doing something, but I’m not sure what”
One word can make all the difference. These two very similar sentences could have completely different meanings:
“I don’t have any plans”
“I don’t have any plans yet”
The latter could mean she is putting out the feelers that she might want to be asked out. It certainly doesn’t always mean that’s the case, but if you feel yourself noticing a few of these “hints” there’s a fairly good chance she wants to hang out.
If you come across a situation like this, you even have a perfect “excuse” to now ask her out. For example:
“Well if it’s your last night in Sydney then we should go get something to eat”
“If this is your only night off, then we should be really spontaneous and go get a drink”
When to get your matches number
There seems to be so much focus on getting a girl’s number from Tinder. Personally, I really don’t understand it. Guys post screenshots on Reddit of them receiving a girl’s number like it’s a massive success. You already have a platform to message her and now you have a second, do you want a medal?
If you didn’t pick up on my sarcasm, what I’m getting at is don’t put the focus on getting her number, make it about organizing to actually meet.
What I have found with myself and my clients is that the best way to go about getting her number is to wait until a plan has at least been loosely planned. Also, she will be way less likely to question what you are going to do with her number once you receive it. You’re obviously going to use it to correspond like normal people and sort out the date rather than sending unsolicited dick pics.
When a plan has been arranged you could say:
“Seeing as we’re meeting, I should probably grab your number”
“Can I grab your number so I don’t have to keep opening Tinder?”
The next step after this is learning how to ask your match out. Check out our post we put in hours of research and hundreds of dates into to figure out the best step-by-step roadmap to getting Tinder dates. Before that, you might be better off reading what comes just before that, which I believe you must do. I’m talking about ‘Planting The Seed’, check out the post we did on that. And, If you are just starting out on Tinder and want to find out how to set yourself up with heaps of matches, download my 5 unknown ways to get more matches here.