Openers are a make-or-break moment on every dating app. You should never assume that because someone has matched with you that you can get away with a low-effort first message.
But Feeld works a little differently from mainstream apps like Bumble and Tinder. It encourages openness about desires and preferences in the bedroom, leading lots of people to ask, what’s a good opening line for Feeld?
Many of the same principles of a good opener apply to Feeld, but in my opinion, it’s even more important to tailor your opening message to the user you’ve matched with.
That’s because there’s a huge spectrum on Feeld of intimate information you can use to craft your ice-breaker. A good opener on Feeld leads the conversation to your mutual desires and speeds up the process of arranging a first date.
But it’s also all too easy to cross the line, come off as sleazy, and blow your chance from the start.
It’s a bit of a balancing act. So let’s find out how to break the ice on Feeld, kick-start a great conversation, and maximize your chances of getting a date.
How Do You Break The Ice On Feeld?
You’ve matched with Alison on Feeld, she’s got a cute cat in her profile picture and likes stand-up paddle boarding. But there are also some eyebrow-raising desires listed. Wow, information overload here. Where to start?
So how do you break the ice on Feeld? The same rules for every dating app apply to Feeld openers: personalize your message based on the user’s profile, ask an interesting question, and try to stand out. But because Feeld users are often more open about their preferences and desires, you can often start with a more intimate question.
Of course, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t be sleazy or creepy. If in doubt, start the conversation in a fun, offbeat way and once you’ve made a connection you can bring up your shared desires.
So read through your Feeld match’s profile carefully. Have they got saucy private photos, or are they looking for someone to satisfy a niche kink? Or are they clear that one-night stands are out, and they’re looking for a deeper connection?
On Feeld, you often have more to go on about what a match is looking for. So tailor your opener to your match’s desires, and make your first message count!
5 Best Ways To Break The Ice On Feeld
Feeld is and isn’t like every other dating app out there and, for many people, their first experiences on the app raise a few questions. But breaking the ice on Feeld doesn’t have to be hard. Here are some great ways to come up with a powerful opening line.
- Personalize Your Opening Message
The best ice-breakers for any online dating app, Feeld included, are always personalized to your match’s profile. It’s 2024: a generic pick-up line is not going to cut it, and you have to assume she has plenty of matches to pick from so you need to stand out.
Personalization allows us to get personal, right away. So scour your match’s photos for a unique detail that others might have missed. Is she wearing an underground ‘90s band tee in one photo? Sure, the Taj Mahal picture is nice, but wait, is that Chris Hemsworth in the background?
- Ask An Interesting Question
People love talking about themselves – psychologists have identified it’s as good as eating chocolate or even having a little afternoon delight. Why wouldn’t you want to tap into that?
So ask your match an interesting ice-breaker question about herself, her interests, the holiday she’s on in one of her profile pictures, or the pet she’s holding. But make sure it’s not something she’s been asked multiple times before. I’ll say it again: stand out!
- Make A Provocative Assumption About Your Match
What’s one thing people love more than talking about themselves? Correcting people!
This is a somewhat high-risk, high-reward ice-breaker. Since you’re not explicitly asking a question, a reply doesn’t follow quite so naturally. But the right provocative assumption can trigger flirtatious banter right from the start, and lead to a more interesting conversation down the line.
So don’t be afraid to roll the dice. Tell your match she looks like the kind of person who wants to run away and join the circus, or that you bet she puts goat milk in her coffee. Make sure it’s an observation you can back up, playfully, when she retorts “how very dare you”.
- Identify Similar Interests or Desires
Feeld users are particularly open with their interests and desires, especially when it comes to the bedroom. That gives you the opportunity to fast-track the conversation if that’s what you’re interested in.
So read your match’s profile carefully, and break the ice by pointing out a special interest you two share, or by making a playful reference to the fun you could have.
As usual, this has to be personalized. Use all the information you have about your match, from her photos to her bio, to assess whether she’s open to an outrageous opener, a bit of cheeky banter, or if a subtle reference to your shared passions is the way to go.
- Keep It Classy
Lastly, too many guys get carried away on Feeld and fall into the trap of sexualizing their conversation from the get-go. Just because she’s sharing her desires in her profile, it doesn’t mean she’s ready to explore them with you.
So make sure you keep it classy. While it’s totally fine to reference your match’s sexual preferences in an opening message, if you share them and she’s made it clear what she’s interested in, you can’t come across as sleazy.
Feeld has a rep as a hookup app and many of the profiles I see on Feeld are clearly up for some casual fun, but they also want a deeper connection. So if you’re getting flirty based on her desires, don’t push it too far, and be sure to direct the conversation into deeper territory when you get the chance.
First Message Tips For Online Dating
Even with a list of powerful opening messages and an understanding of how to personalize your opener, there are still some pitfalls that many guys fall into. So let’s check out some tips for your first message on any dating app.
- Don’t say “hi”. What’s the best-case scenario? She says “hi” back? You’re still stuck in the same position, trying to come up with an interesting way to keep the conversation going!
- Don’t recycle openers. Every first message should directly reference something in her profile. Show her you’re paying attention, and have an eye for things that other guys miss.
- Don’t ask an open-ended question. Your questions should guide her toward an answer, and a vague, open-ended question like “How’s your Friday going” will, at best, get a one-word response. Fine. Ask something with a specific, tangible answer like “What’s your favorite thing about [hobby].”
- Use a conversation icebreaker. If you’re stuck for an idea, classic icebreakers are a great way to start the conversation. Ask about people’s hobbies, work, and other interests, and if there’s nothing in her profile to go on, try a random attention-grabbing question instead.
- Act confident. Never put yourself down, imply that she’s too good for you, or that you’re surprised you matched. Make sure your first message oozes confidence and security.
- Limit the emojis. Or, in my opinion, don’t use an emoji at all. Emojis can come off as childish, so craft a strong opening message that doesn’t need an emoji to get the point across. If you’re using sarcasm or banter, trust that she’ll get the joke without a laughing emoji tacked on at the end.
- Take a risk. It’s more important that you stand out, so don’t always play it safe. If she misses the joke, move on to the next match because it’ll be someone who gets your sense of humor!
- Never send an opener in a bad mood. Just got ghosted? Or dumped? Or had a bad day at work? Then take a deep breath and wait until you’re in a better mood to send the first message. Even if you don’t notice, if you’re not in the right mood your first message will lack the enthusiasm and fun it needs to get a response.
Remember, it takes almost zero effort for someone to like your profile. But thinking up a reply to your first message and typing it out takes work – so show them you’re worth it with a great opener.
And Feeld often gives you more to work with than other apps. While Hinge Prompts let you tag an opener to a picture, and Bumble makes women send the first message, Feeld profiles are often full of intimate information that you can use to tailor the perfect opener.
This can help you skip the small talk, but tread carefully. The perfect conversation starter will appeal to what your match is looking for, so don’t take liberties with your match’s listed desires.
Lastly, if all this “first message” stuff is putting the cart before the horse, it’s time to go and get some Feeld matches! Maybe you need to upgrade your profile, so check out my free 6-Step Tinder Tune-Up.
It’s a hit for a better dating profile, whether that’s Tinder, Bumble, or Feeld. You’ll get more matches to practice your openers on, and it’ll quickly lead to dates in real life.