Hinge conversations don’t start with “hi”. Hinge flipped the online dating game on its head with profile prompts and comments, so more often than not the conversation starts with a ready-made icebreaker.
It’s been so popular, in fact, that Bumble has hastily copied the feature. But regardless of good your opening line is, you have to know how to carry the conversation on.
So what do you say in a Hinge conversation? Keep the conversation going by asking open-ended questions and keep it interesting with GIFs and games like Would You Rather. Remember to hint that you want to meet in real life and lead the conversation to the eventual goal of getting a date.
Hinge helps you break the ice, but once the ice is broken it’s sink or swim.
So if you’re asking, what do you talk about in a Hinge conversation? What does a successful Hinge conversation look like? Or even, what questions to ask your Hinge match?… Stop right there. And let me introduce my 6 Pillars of a Good Conversation.
By implementing the 6 Pillars effectively, every conversation with your Hinge match will flow naturally, strengthen your connection and take you to one outcome: a date. Let’s see them.
The 6 Pillars Of A Good Conversation
I call them the 6 Pillars of a Good Conversation because they hold up your Hinge chats, but you could equally say that having a good conversation hinges on getting these right. Yeah, I went there.
- Guide The Way
Whether you’re on Hinge for hookups or a long-term relationship, you need a date to get what you want. This should be the leading factor in all your conversations: get that phone number and get that date.
You can guide the way by introducing real-life plans in subtle ways. Talk about museums or art exhibitions that are opening soon or new coffee shops you haven’t been to. Use your Hinge conversations to understand what an ideal first date looks like for your match and figure out what her schedule is like so that when you pop the question, there aren’t any unnecessary barriers in place.
- Be Ridiculous
For a lot of guys, online dating turns into a chore. Sure, you want a date, but you can’t be bothered having the same old conversations, not sure if they’re leading somewhere.
Online dating boredom is holding you back from making an effort and standing out. Being ridiculous is my antidote to this. Once you stop censoring yourself in your conversations, you’ll have a lot more fun. So go for the over-the-top sarcasm, the risque humor, the downright surreal jokes. Channel your inner Nicholas Cage for this one.
As well as enjoying yourself a lot more, you’ll make your match laugh and set yourself apart from the other guys who are boring her in the Hinge chat.
Being ridiculous lets you have fun in your Hinge chats, and banter is how you get your match in on the action. Banter is the essence of flirting: it consists of lighthearted teasing, daring to be a little bit confrontational, but in a way that tells your match you’re into her.
Some guys find it hard to hit the right note with their banter, but in my Hook Her Heart dating masterclass I break it down with specific examples. By honing this brushstroke in the art of conversation, you’ll make every match feel that flirty connection.
Empathy lets you round out your Hinge conversations, showing off a more sensitive side. It can’t all be banter and ridiculous energy, after all, your match needs to know you’re a multifaceted guy. I’m talking about layers.
Unfortunately for most guys, we kind of suck at empathy. But once you have it, it’s like a secret weapon that lets you say the right thing at the right time. Your jokes land harder because you know she’s ready to laugh, and you can offer that tender word of comfort exactly when she needs it.
You’re not on Hinge to make friends (there’s Bumble BFF for that). That means you need your matches to see you as a sexual proposition, long before you get to meet in the flesh.
Sensualizing your conversations shows your match that you have a sexual side, without tumbling into sleazy territory. It’s a balancing act, but banter and being ridiculous are often the best avenue to get away with a risque joke that gets her thinking about S-E-X with Y-O-U.
Hinge conversations often breeze along on the surface, without tackling any deeper territory. It’s fun and all, but girls love to hear something meaningful. Opening up shows her that you’re thoughtful, complex, and that you trust her.
You won’t get a chance to confide in every conversation, but my online dating course for guys will teach you when to spot these opportunities and use them to build an authentic connection.
In Hook Her Heart I go into detail about each of these pillars, how to interweave them in every conversation and provide practical examples to help you understand how to make every Hinge conversation turn into a date, and more.
How to Start a Conversation on Hinge
Hinge conversation starters are a little different from Bumble and Tinder. Hinge gives you the opportunity to break the ice before a match with a first message that’s attached to a profile picture or poll.
So you’re asking how to start a conversation on Hinge? Respond to a Hinge prompt or picture with a personalized and offbeat observation. For example, try to spot something in the background of a picture that her other matches missed. Or start a conversation on Hinge by pointing out that you share similar hobbies or common interests, just be sure to stand out with a unique perspective when you do so.
You can’t actually find the best prompt answers for guys online, only examples that can inspire your conversation starters when it comes to your own match. If you want to make a strong first move, then you have to stand out with a tailor-made opener, and thought-provoking follow-up questions.
How Do You Respond To Likes On Hinge?
While Hinge’s MO is designed to kick off the conversation right away, sometimes you’ll get a like on a photo without any message attached.
So how do you respond to likes on Hinge? You need an opening message that’s personalized and stands out from what guys are usually telling her. The best Hinge conversation starters are always tailored to your match’s profile. For example, find a unique take on one of her interests or hobbies. Dare to be a bit outrageous and you’re more likely to get a response.
And if your match has dropped you a message, remember that there aren’t any read receipts on Hinge, so take your time coming up with a great conversation starter.
Even with Hinge’s icebreaker set-up, you can still go down like the Titanic if you don’t have A-grade conversation game.
Have more fun with online dating using banter and being just a tad ridiculous in your chats, all while creating more meaningful connections that lead you to a first date.
So if you’re ready to get messaging, check out my free 6-Step Tinder Tune-Up that can take any dating profile to the next level. Tweak your profile and you’ll get better matches to practice your conversation skills on.